so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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