Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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