He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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