So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We talked him into tasing himself.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
