on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
