She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
where does the pee come out of this thing
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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