Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
