you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
