If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
