Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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