So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
