You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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