Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
