69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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