just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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