awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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