so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
