Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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