Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
