he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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