What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
