Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
