drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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