dude i'm inner monologue high
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
