if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
