dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
