David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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