But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
