check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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