so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize