I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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