This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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