Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
