this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
