We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
