i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
