I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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