I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
