You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
