Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
