You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we made out on top of his cat.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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