It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
