there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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