my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
