In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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