it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
