dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
