I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
you had me at cake vodka
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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