And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
a search helicopter?!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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