I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
