I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
