i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
