You really coming over, don't trick.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
