Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she pinky promised me she was 18
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
