you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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