Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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