Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
