i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
