it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
